Hmmm bugger.

Bad head.

Very bad head.

Amazingly skillful head.

But still, very bad head.

The thing thats grounded me for a while, stopped most of my not-so-great thoughts is the thought that Mike loves me.

Cause he says he does =) Alot.

But I've managed to do the same thing i do EVERY time.

I've convinced myself he doesnt.
Because frankly, why would he?

And small random things are convincing me that more and more people dont love me, people that I'd just started to believe....

So im verry very very confused and lost and scared and unsure.

Because i know that if i do what i promised not to it helps. But based on said love theory, people dont like me doing it. No love theory, no hatred of doing it.

But then do i want to now i know i dont have to?

I love all these people i've said dont reciprocate so much...... But surely thats a little bit useless if they dont back?

Confused. Babbling. Bye.